Healthy Selfish:
How to Prioritize Yourself Without Guilt, Control, or Burnout
A Book by Monique Selman, LMFT
You’re not selfish….You’re tired of abandoning yourself.
If you’ve spent years being the one who adjusts, accommodates, explains, overextends, and holds everything together - Healthy Selfish was written for you.
Who This Book Is For
This book is for you if:
You struggle to say no without over-explaining
You feel guilty when you prioritize yourself
You’re tired of being the “strong one” or the “understanding one”
You notice resentment building in your relationships
You want healthier connections without cutting people off
You’re ready to stop shrinking to keep the peace
What Does “Healthy Selfish” Mean?
Healthy selfishness is not about doing whatever you want.
It’s about:
Knowing what belongs to you—and what doesn’t.
Making choices that align with your values.
Letting other people have their feelings without managing them.
Protecting your energy without needing permission.
Staying connected without self-erasure.
This book gives language, structure, and real-life examples for something many people feel but can’t name.
What This Book Covers
Inside Healthy Selfish, you’ll explore:
What boundaries actually are (and what they are not)
Why people-pleasing leads to resentment and burnout
How the absence of boundaries impacts your relationships, work, and mental health
The difference between control and boundaries
How gender and social conditioning shape self-abandonment
Why “being nice” is not the same as being healthy
How to enforce boundaries without guilt
Navigating boundaries with family, partners, friends, and work
Healing relationships after boundaries are set
This is not a book of platitudes.
It’s a grounded, practical guide written from both clinical expertise and lived experience.
Excerpt from the Book
Healthy Selfish doesn’t teach you how to control other people.
It teaches you how to trust yourself, tolerate discomfort without abandoning your values, release responsibility for emotions that aren’t yours, build boundaries that are firm and humane.
This book centers emotional maturity, accountability, and self-respect -
without shaming or moralizing.
About the Author
Monique Selman, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of Becoming Enriched Therapy.
Her work focuses on boundaries, emotional clarity, self-awareness, and healing practices rooted in culturally affirming care.
Monique is known for her warm, direct, and honest teaching style—blending clinical insight with real-life language that resonates.
Pre-order Healthy Selfish
By preordering Healthy Selfish, you’ll be among the first to receive the book when it releases.
Preorder Includes:
Early access to Healthy Selfish
Exclusive preorder bonuses (to be announced)
Support for independent publishing and future resources
Ready to stop abandoning yourself?
Disclaimer: This book is not therapy and does not replace professional mental health care.